Welcome Back Event for Students and Faculty – Sep 6, 2022
About Last Night …
I’m from the dark ages so forgive me. What I’m about to share is not new but worth repeating. Nothing beats meeting someone for the first time, face to face, shoulder to shoulder, live and in person … especially when that “someone” are our students and faculty. Special thanks to @TRP Student Social Committee who hosted last night’s “Welcome” event.
In this 2013 Harvard Business Review article, “Connect, then Lead” Amy J. C. Cuddy, Matthew Kohut, John Neffinger, their research shows unless you show warmth, you won’t be able to make connection no matter how competent you are, and therefore, as a leader, no one will follow you.
I don’t know about you but I still haven’t found the magic keys on my laptop that I can tap out and spell and hit send to transmit “warmth” across the tiles filled with faces to make a true connection with my audience. But we do our best and show up … with our cameras on, hopefully.
Way back when, I remember a world (dark ages) with no cameras, just us. A smile, a handshake, a hug, or a fist pump would create and create a spark and make a connection instantly, in real time, #IRL. You know what I mean.
Don’t get me wrong! I swear technology is like romantic relationships. You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them. I am grateful everyday that Mom (age 92), remembers how to activate the video call button on her shiny red iPhone XR. Dad (age 93) would appear with this look of wonder, mesmerized by What’s App.
But savouring and saving the memories from last night, it’s hard to replicate the warmth and magic online but as educators, we try our best to connect, engage, and if we’re lucky, captivate our students virtually in class this new term.
Anne Lamott once wrote in her classic, “Bird by Bird”, “As we live, we begin to discover what helps in life and what hurts.” And every now and again, I wonder whatever happened to the good ol’ days? Trust me, you will wonder one day, too.
If there’s anything this pandemic has given us besides uncertainty, it’s the gift of time. How did you spend your time over the past two years?
Was it time well spent? Did you become laser focused on what’s important? You already knew. Did you rise and fall (many times) getting lost in the ebbs and flow of uncertainty? Or did you reach out and connect with someone to see if they were all right?
What the world needs now and always is connectivity, not the virtual kind but the humankind.
“When we meet face to face, we become human. We lift each other up. We need this.” – Rev. Cecil Williams, Pastor
Technology can be a beautiful thing. I taught my 91-year-old Mom to video call me on her shiny new red iPhone XR. My 92-year-old Dad wanted to touch my face on the screen. We laugh a lot.
We celebrated one hundred days since the birth of my good friends’ beautiful baby boy and raised a glass of Prosecco in one hand and waved at the faces in the little Zoom tiles.
We celebrated the life of our faraway dear friend in Malaysia last week and recorded a message for her to hear in her final days.
And we, colleagues and students, are about to celebrate two years of online teaching next month! Has it really been two years?
Some may ask, what is there to celebrate? Will Covid continue to lurk in the shadows as we make our way onto flights and visit Level 4 countries? How much risk are we willing to take when we share a coffee with a friend or colleague, hug family, or hold the hand of someone suffering?
Human and Virtual Connectivity
Thirty (!) years ago, I was in the computer lab at University of Calgary, updating my resume. I had just returned from a three-year posting in Sulawesi with the University of Guelph and Global Affairs. A young man peered at my monitor and asked, “Do you speak Bahasa Indonesia?” And I answered “Bisa! (Yes, I can!)
That was the beginning of our long-term friendship. His Mom cooked me Indonesian food and he now is in San Francisco. We stay connected with visits and chats and have lively discussions about life in the time of COVID.
Recently he shared with me Conor Neill’s Sep 2020 video on two ways of approaching life, “Freedom from or Freedom to” and also on “making a choice or decision”. Professor Neill, who teaches leadership at the global IESE Business School in Barcelona, has explained with great clarity about the distinction in both. Tune in as he asks:
Do you want to live your life merely to survive and removing pain or live your life making choices with confidence?
Do you want to choose and take full responsibility and commit to making your decisions work or do you want to continually validate and justify the decisions you’ve made and say it wasn’t the core of me that has failed?
I believe wholeheartedly in “freedom to …” and choosing confidently, all in, 100%. Go celebrate! Go for coffee, maybe with someone new! Go hug and smile! Hold both hands, touch a heart, connect a soul.
We love “random collisions” and meeting new people!
Dream Network Drop-in No. 18 at the Art Gallery of Ontario March 11, 2020
How It Works
The Dream Network Drop-in is a fun, free, friendly, and no-frills approach to speed-networking once a month. We are a curated audience, i.e. by invite only. It’s easy! If you’d like more information and an invite to our next Dream Network Drop-in No. 33 on Wednesday May 26, 2021 18:00-19:30 EST, please contact Jean Chow at [email protected] . And yes, you can add friends! Just email Jean!
Pre-COVID, we met at the Art Gallery of Toronto or Assembly Chef’s Hall, both located downtown Toronto, usually with 30 – 40 members in attendance.
Given the extraordinary circumstances of COVID-19, our highly diverse Dream Network Drop-ins are now being held virtually on Zoom with 20 to 50 members attending. In 90 minutes, we would go through 4 rounds of introducing new people, 1 on 1, and you would have 10-minutes each round in breakout rooms to get to know one another.
Post COVID, we’ll continue to host both virtual events and in-person events.
How We Started
We started the Dream Network Drop-in as a “social experiment” after I was invited by University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies to design and deliver “Hacking the Networking Code now titled “Fearless Networking: Connecting Creatively and Confidently” on July 8, 2017. At that time, my “secret outcome” was creating a new network for our learners by the end of the workshop. Also after our all-day workshop (yes, I can talk about networking for 7 hours!), I saw the need for a physical (and now virtual) safe space for our lifelong learners to practice their newly-minted networking skills.
So the Dream Network Drop-in was launched April 28, 2018 as a think tank with six members! Now 450+ member strong, we continue to build and grow our Network organically by inviting young professionals, former students, emerging and recent graduates, early to mid-careerists, mentees, and adult learners from all over the world.
May 2021 NEWS FLASH – Dream Network Drop-in is now a case study in recently published “Organization Theory and Design” Chapter 4 by University of Toronto Rotman Professor Ann Armstrong and her colleague, Richard L. Daft.
Organization Theory and Design Published by CENGAGE
Remember the classic restaurant scene in “When Harry met Sally”? In the film, after five years, fate reunites Harry and Sally, two former college students, and the story of their relationship unfolds as best friends and … well, you must watch the film.
Fate also introduced Akram and Sally, also two former university students. Akram recently welcomed new graduate students at University of Toronto School of Graduate Studeis when afterwards Sally walked up to him and introduced herself.
Sally was describing her new mater’s program in Translational ResearchProgram at the Faculty of Medicine and she mentioned she was taking my module “Hacking the Networking Code) when Akram suddenly exclaimed, “Jean Chow? No way. She’s my very first mentor when I first arrived in Canada.”
Akram was one of our mentees in my professional mentorship program at a not-for-profit in Mississauga. Recently arrived in Toronto from Cairo, he eagerly soaked up everyhting there was to know about building a successful life, not only in Canada but also anywhere in the world. He stood out because the meaning of “Anything is possible.”. That was six years ago.
Both Sally and Akram have made me proud. Akram’s career path has been stellar and still going strong. Sally’s networking ability is off the charts and also gaining momentum. Thank you both for allowing me to share this story and special thanks to Sally for bringing Akram and I back together again.
Our next series of three Saturday morning live webinars and a special invitation to our Dream Network Drop-in (safe space to practice networking) starts February 13, 2021.
People are not only looking for ways to cope with and combat COVID but also ways to deal with sudden feelings of doom and despair.
Field trip in the City
Time for another “field trip” with Creative Mornings! I know I’ll return refreshed and recharged. Members choose from a weekly “menu of field trips”.
We owe huge thanks to Tina Roth Eisenberg (Swissmiss) who started Creative Mornings in 2008 out of a desire for an ongoing, accessible (and free) event for New York’s creative community. Read more …
Our network zooms in from 216 cities across 67 countries to listen and learn about an astonishing range of topics.
Proudly volunteer driven, the fine folks at Creative Mornings know how to host and have fun.
Creative Mornings World-wide
Since COVID, thanks to Creative Morning field trips, I’ve:
Before COVID-19, we had a choice in how we learn and teach at post-secondary institutions: in-person, on-line, or a bit of both.
As instructors, we collaborate with industry experts, fellow faculties and ancillary services, and communities within our network to enrich the learning process for our students.
In the mere weeks prior to shutdown, we had no idea how very fortunate we were to attend two on-site workshops at the Toronto Public Library. The expert Business and Reference Librarians at the two largest branches of the Toronto Public Library customized and seriously over-delivered for our students, teaching how to job search effectively and perform company research strategically using databases accessible and free with a TPL Card on:
Ryerson Chang School Mid-level Management with Angjelin Hila, Librarian, Toronto Reference Library
We cannot thank you enough!
And as students in the City of Toronto, both cohorts were eligible and left with Library cards, giving them 38 ways to access many services free. Here’s a few:
Learn 70+ languages with Mango Languages. Access online with your Library Card.
Stream kids’ videos including Sesame Street. Use your Library Card to sign into Kanopy.
Learn online courses on digital creativity – graphic design, web design and more. Free with your Library Card.
Kids and families can listen to a story by phone any time of day for free by calling the library’s Dial-a-Story (416) 393-5400 in 16 languages.
Even during these extraordinary and difficult times, we can still almost find whatever we need at the Library. Even those with modest incomes and no wi-fi hover near their Library branch to catch the Library’s wi-fi connection. Again, we cannot thank you enough.
But did you know the Toronto Public Library have become pop-up food banks?
Yes, TPL’s Ellesmere Road distribution centre is now a food warehouse, helping the Daily Bread Food Bank , North York Harvest Food Bank, and Second Harvest get food out to those in need. In a week, 10 out of 100 TPL branches are now food banks and still scaling.
Library volunteer
To no surprise, a call to action for Library staff to be volunteers was filled within an hour. Who else knows their communities best? And it’s no secret that a Librarian’s superpower is infinite compassion. Librarians, as your 2013 Entrepreneur-in-Residence and now guest speaker, I’ve witnessed on several occasions your patience and your grace when helping everyone and anyone. You are the most humane of us all.
Thank you for keeping us well-fed and well-read … and safe! We truly cannot thank you enough, Librarians, but know we appreciate all that you do as our most vital community hub. Stay safe and see you again soon!
We’re not dead. Yet. My student and I were walking when
suddenly a young person approached us from behind with a question, “What’s a
boomer?”
He had eavesdropped on our discussion about technology and its impact on Boomers. He doesn’t know? Ouch!
“Ask your parents … or maybe your grandparents.” I winced. “Boomers” is another cohort like “Millennials” or “Gen Zers”. Got it?”
He nodded, “I had no idea.”
We’re not dead yet. Or are we? I started to wonder. From his perspective, we’ve already left and forgot to close the door on our way out. Not so fast. Here’s what the experts say:
On Perspective
Daniel H. Pink is the author of best-selling business books about motivation and sales: “Drive”, “To Sell is Human” and “When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing. His TED Talk on motivation has more than 20 million views.
Pink cautions us at the end of his social experiment that as we grow in our career, we gain more power and we tend to lose our perspective-taking ability. We should argue like we’re right but listen like we’re wrong. And don’t believe we’re the smartest person in the room because we’ve just shown that we’re not.
Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy-the mental, the emotional, the psychological differences between people. And the key to valuing those differences is to realize all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.” ~ Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
“The world urgently needs more grace.” Ms. Claire M. C. Kennedy, Chair of the Governing Council of the University of Toronto as she addressed the convocation yesterday at University of St. Michael’s College.
On Empathy
Standing in the queue at the grocery store Friday night, a young woman in front of me turned and said she knew me. We met last year at ICA’s “Idea Summit” on inclusivity, diversity, and equity. We swapped stories about our fear of water and swimming. She has her Swim 1 and 2. I’m still at Swim 0. She offered invaluable insights, tips, and her perspective on how she overcame her fear. Inspired, I thanked her and what do you know, her name is “Grace”! “The world urgently needs more grace.”
I have a deep appreciation of art but I cannot draw, not even a crooked line, so I took an art sampler from the Art Gallery of Ontario. In one afternoon, our dedicated instructors took us through the painful steps of beginner sculpting, printmaking, drawing, and water colour painting.
Auguste Rodin – The Cathedral
Moving from station to station, we gathered our mini-art projects and I wondered if mine deserved fridge magnets but sadly, no. However, I managed to sharpen my perspective-taking ability especially during sculpting. My struggle to mold and shape the clay into an egg helped me appreciate all the labour that Auguste (Rodin) must have expended to achieve mastery.
On Kindness
George Sanders teaches creative writing at Syracuse University. His debut novel “Lincoln in the Bardo” won the 2017 Man Booker Prize. He is included in Time list of the one hundred most influential people in the world.
In “Congratulations … By the Way – Some thoughts on Kindness” based on his Class of 2013 convocation address at his university, Professor Saunders shares a poignant story about a new kid named “Ellen” in his 7th Grade and why to this day, he still remembers her.
Some thoughts on Kindness for Graduates
He also asks:
“Why aren’t we kinder?
Apparently we have three “built-in confusions”:
“We’re central to our universe.” Our story is the only story that matters.
“We’re separate from the universe.” – There’s “Us” and then the rest of them.
“We’re permanent.” – You’re going to die but I’m not me.
2. “How do we become kinder?”
Professor Saunders: “Kindness is hard. … Becoming kinder happens naturally with age. As we get older, we come to see how useless it is to be selfish… We get our butts kicked and people come to the rescue and we’re not that separate and we don’t want to be. Most people, as they age, become less selfish and more loving.” Right, Boomers?
I’ll admit I am full of envy whenever I’m talking to someone half my age. They have so much more ahead of them, so many opportunities, and so many days left. I remind them how fortunate they are. Time is on their side. George Saunders (and I) want them to know that “your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now.”
York University Bridging Program for Internationally-Educated Professionals, March 27, 2019
Many people view networking as a necessary evil. This is especially true for most “newcomer professionals”. This group of people are working in a country that is not their native land. They are often educated in different countries and find getting a job in their professional field difficult. Often that’s because their credentials in their new home country may be questioned or undervalued.
Networking can be hard for many newcomer professionals. They may face language barriers or feel uneasy about their current job status. Additionally, many newcomer professionals have the added pressure of trying to find a job mid-career. Some might be changing careers while providing for their families in a new country.
However, they are also a group that could seriously benefit from networking. Making connections with others could potentially help them circumvent their “Catch 22” situation. This stems from not having experience in their new country, but not be able to get hired to gain the required job experience.
Here are some ways to make networking easier for newcomer professionals:
Shift Your Perspective
Having empathy and being courageous goes a long way. This applies to both newcomer professionals and those who meet them.
In my networking workshops, I use two examples of how empathy can help shift perspectives for newcomer professionals. As learners living and working (hopefully) in a new cultural environment, they see themselves in a new light. They are constantly tested and face seemingly insurmountable barriers of communication.
In my first example, I ask our learners to imagine themselves at a reception at an industry conference. Someone new approaches them and they stumble through a self-introduction. I ask, “How do you feel when this person is trying so hard to take the first step in introducing themselves?’
With our second example, I ask them, “Now how do you feel when someone asks you for help? Depending on the context, most likely, you would be open to helping them, right?”
“Now how would you feel if the situations were reversed?” How do they think the person listening to them would feel if they stumbled through a self-intro and that they were being the ones asked for help. Why would it be any different than when they were the listener?
These lessons help the newcomer professional see both sides of the equation.
Be Sensitive about Communication and Language
Stories about my overseas experience working in Africa and Asia also as a newcomer professional has given me invaluable insights. It helps me better relate and share with newcomer professionals – especially those for whom English is their second/third language.
While living and working on a somewhat remote island, Sulawesi in Indonesia, all I could do was smile when I arrived. I didn’t even know how to say “good morning”.
In my first month, as Financial Manager, I was sent to Yogyakarta for intensive language training. This involved one-on-one lessons with university students as tutors in a professional language training school for eight hours a day and living with a home-stay family for three months. I knew how it felt to speak at a kindergarten level when what I needed to express were concepts a bit more complex to my Indonesian accountants.
Just because someone isn’t as proficient in English as you is not a reason to dismiss their experience and value. Communication can be hard but patience and understanding and putting yourself in their shoes can make it easier.
Embrace Differences
Newcomer professionals bring untapped global talent to the workforce. And we would be remiss if we do not listen, engage, and be open to someone who is different from ourselves. Living in a digital age, the barriers will and are falling away more rapidly. But our mindsets must also adapt and be agile enough to realize the potential and power of different points of view.
As Stephen R. Covey, the bestselling author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” wrote: “Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy – the mental, the emotional, the psychological differences between people. The key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.”
Perspective, empathy, and courage are essential for powerful networking. This is true not only for newcomer professionals but also for us to connect with others. As newcomer professionals, network and introduce yourselves. Trying to be of service to others are the first steps in building great relationships. It’s also an important part of creating a kinder, wiser, and more giving global community.
Anyone notice the power red shoes on the #TelusPitch2019 Competition stage this past Tuesday? RED is the colour of power, passion, purpose, and at times, politics.
Why Wear Red
At a another event, I noticed this shimmering, slick red lipstick worn by one of my colleagues. We swapped lipstick intel – Hers “Outlaw Brick Red” by Kat Von D and mine? “Ruby Woo” by Mac.
Ruby Woo Mac Lipstick
In “Social Media Strategy” class a couple of years ago, my classmate and I presented a clever social media campaign for a designer lipstick. To our surprise, we noticed that we were all wearing “Ruby Woo” in class. “Ruby” made it up to Everest Base Camp with our classmate. #WhyWearRed ? Power – Passion – Purpose – Politics
So when I read Erika Thorkelson’s article “Why Wearing Lipstick Is a Small Act of Joyful Resistance” in a Canadian periodical, “The Walrus” and shared it immediately with The Lipstick Ladies. “Lipstick is unapologetically feminine. That’s what makes it so rebellious.” – the author’s powerful tagline.
Women in Red
Vivian Maier
RED gives women a visual voice. RED means business and you had better listen. Vivian Maier, affectionately aka the Nanny Photographer, captured countless photographs including this book cover. Her intriguing life story as an unknown yet brilliant street photographer can be found in a permanent collection in the Chicago History Museum.
For the Telus event, I went with a “Normal Business Navy” dress for networking and added a dash of “Ruby Woo” which, at the time, seemed appropriate.
I ought to know because for the past couple of years, I’ve been teaching, talking about, living and breathing networking. I felt confident as I strolled through the big glass corporate doors. As I scanned the crowd, I took a quick pulse check on the energy in the room and found it to be somewhat frenetic. Then a series of faux pas started to unravel.
Faux Pas #1
The first person I recognized was already heading towards me. She had interviewed me for an business blog seven years ago. Excited to reconnect, I reached out to greet her but as she approached, she looked me in the eye as I acknowledged her name. But then suddenly, she turned and walked away. I was gob-smacked with my handshake extended and hanging in thin air. Maybe she didn’t hear me. Maybe she didn’t recognize me. Maybe she just didn’t care. But she definitely saw me. Could this happen to one of my students? How do I prepare them for situations like this? Mental note: Sometimes you need a thicker skin for networking. I continued to wind my way in and then saw someone else I knew.
Faux Pas #2
After a courteous exchange, she introduced me to her colleague standing beside her. We also made eye contact but then it happened again. After a quick “hello”, she immediately turned her back on me and started looking for someone else. That was impressive. She didn’t need Malcolm Gladwell’s requisite two seconds for rapid cognition. She made up her mind in one “hello” whether she liked me or not. That’s one topic we do cover in our workshop.
Faux Pas #3
Undaunted third time lucky maybe, I tried once again to engage with another tech entrepreneur. This time no eye contact as her eyes shifted, a telltale sign wanting to escape. I mentioned that I heard the bar was about to close so that she could bolt away… and she did.
I grinned to myself, thinking how ironic it was to be struggling to communicate at telecommunications event! “Hel-lo?” Was I a little rusty in “reading the room” which was full of people admittedly half my age or dare I say more than half? Were my expectations unrealistic, outdated? How would my students weather these awkward situations? What would they have done in my shoes? Maybe swap them the “Normal Business Navy” for the “Power RED”. But as always, the universe unfolded as it should as I perssisted and eventually stumbled upon a few good people.
The Bartender told me about a music app that allowed people to tip musicians after I inquired about a tip jar for the bartenders because none were present. Maybe no one carries cash and maybe no one cares which is truly unfortunate and sad for those earning a living in the food and beverage industry.
The Undergrad Student shared how her background in training as a former ballerina helped her develop exceptional time management skills and as a result, helped her get her summer job with her employer, a start-up sponsor of the event. She reminded me fondly of my speed-skating niece and I invited her our Dream Network, a coffee drop-in for diverse and curious minds.
The Emerging Entrepreneur who sat in the row behind me and told me how her knees shook during the first round of the Pitch Competition. But she was deeply grateful for the experience. She is developing an app to help fund African Millennials to see the world. I also invited her to our Dream Network.
And as the event wrapped up, I heard the Master of Ceremonies call out onto the stage a familiar name. Hey, I know him, my super-nice-guy squash friend whom I haven’t seen in six years! My squash pro always said “all roads lead to squash” … even if it is at the end of the road.
I made a quick note to self for my next networking workshop – Remember RED, the colour of power, passion, purpose. and politics. RED can also give you that bit of extra push to get you outside your comfort zone. And even if it is only the colour of your lipstick, you are “unapologetically feminine and … rebellious!”
Toronto Reference Library Beeton Hall JULY 18, 2019
In the Library World, decency, diversity, and
dignity reside. When you step up to the Library desk and ask a Librarian
anything, you are gold. Last Thursday night I spoke in front of eighty-two library
patrons. This is a community I’ve come to know and love locally and world-wide.
As I adjusted my lapel microphone and tested the clicker for my slides, I wondered how they would respond. Will they feel safe to share their own stories? New to public speaking, the risk of being unable to connect with audiences is great. It happens. I am outside my comfort zone as I scanned their faces – younger, older, fresh out of school, from a kaleidoscope of countries in anticipation of what I was about to say. I took stock of their body language. The moment of truth has arrived. Like a Swiss army knife, I searched for “the right tools, the right words” to set the stage and with a deep breath, I started.
“So you already made up your mind whether you like me or not.” And they laughed as I breathed out and smiled. A few frowned with disapproval while others nodded with empathy. That night our library patrons were keen, wanting to be heard and sharing their experiences. Their questions stirred debate and I was thrilled with their engagement.
I am reminded of Stephen R. Covey’s quote in his “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. “Valuing our differences is the essence of synergy…. And the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.”
And my topic? “Network: Anywhere Anytime with Anyone”, a unique perspective on meeting new people … in real life #IRL while decency, diversity, and dignity lives on at the Library.
