In a world where acts of kindness seem rare and random, what makes this act of kindness notable?
Last Wednesday I opened my laptop and there they were, Sheena and Jacqueline, in a photo, grinning at me from Stuttgart at the 3-day beVisioneers Global Summit.
Sheena is the Mentorship Lead for the Do School and Jacqueline Cruz-Aguila is my Mentee from Mexico City, Mercedes Benz Fellowship beVisioneers selected to attending. I have never met them in person. The number of times I’ve met them virtually, I can count on both hands. And yet my heart burst wide open. So much awe, wonder, and joy spilled out. My reaction was raw, rapid, and reflexive. I wondered why.
We miss so much in our day to day, going fast, faster, and fastest. We scramble to embrace new ways in which AI allows us to escape the mundane, saving us from having to make sense from swamps of data. But I didn’t have to ask Chat GPT to reflect for me, to think for me, to feel for me. All I had to do was stop, savour, and say, “There IS good in this world.”
Sharing this photo was notable because of Sheena and Jacqueline’s:
intention.
execution.
recognition.
tenderness.
empathy.
spontaneity.
What would happen if acts of kindness weren’t rare and random? Would our hearts suffer from being open? Would our hands hurt from being extended? Or would our lives flourish from being kind? What does it take? Ask Sheena and Jacqueline.
What does it mean to “Level Up Your LinkedIn Profile”? Look no further than Ms. Portia Obeng! Her generosity of spirit is unsurpassed!
Which words (illuminating? relevant? brilliant?) could possibly express the magnitude of our #gratitude for your endless support of so many students, Portia?
If there’s anything this pandemic has given us besides uncertainty, it’s the gift of time. How did you spend your time over the past two years?
Was it time well spent? Did you become laser focused on what’s important? You already knew. Did you rise and fall (many times) getting lost in the ebbs and flow of uncertainty? Or did you reach out and connect with someone to see if they were all right?
What the world needs now and always is connectivity, not the virtual kind but the humankind.
“When we meet face to face, we become human. We lift each other up. We need this.” – Rev. Cecil Williams, Pastor
Technology can be a beautiful thing. I taught my 91-year-old Mom to video call me on her shiny new red iPhone XR. My 92-year-old Dad wanted to touch my face on the screen. We laugh a lot.
We celebrated one hundred days since the birth of my good friends’ beautiful baby boy and raised a glass of Prosecco in one hand and waved at the faces in the little Zoom tiles.
We celebrated the life of our faraway dear friend in Malaysia last week and recorded a message for her to hear in her final days.
And we, colleagues and students, are about to celebrate two years of online teaching next month! Has it really been two years?
Some may ask, what is there to celebrate? Will Covid continue to lurk in the shadows as we make our way onto flights and visit Level 4 countries? How much risk are we willing to take when we share a coffee with a friend or colleague, hug family, or hold the hand of someone suffering?
Human and Virtual Connectivity
Thirty (!) years ago, I was in the computer lab at University of Calgary, updating my resume. I had just returned from a three-year posting in Sulawesi with the University of Guelph and Global Affairs. A young man peered at my monitor and asked, “Do you speak Bahasa Indonesia?” And I answered “Bisa! (Yes, I can!)
That was the beginning of our long-term friendship. His Mom cooked me Indonesian food and he now is in San Francisco. We stay connected with visits and chats and have lively discussions about life in the time of COVID.
Recently he shared with me Conor Neill’s Sep 2020 video on two ways of approaching life, “Freedom from or Freedom to” and also on “making a choice or decision”. Professor Neill, who teaches leadership at the global IESE Business School in Barcelona, has explained with great clarity about the distinction in both. Tune in as he asks:
Do you want to live your life merely to survive and removing pain or live your life making choices with confidence?
Do you want to choose and take full responsibility and commit to making your decisions work or do you want to continually validate and justify the decisions you’ve made and say it wasn’t the core of me that has failed?
I believe wholeheartedly in “freedom to …” and choosing confidently, all in, 100%. Go celebrate! Go for coffee, maybe with someone new! Go hug and smile! Hold both hands, touch a heart, connect a soul.
Her first flight took her 13,400 kilometres away from her home in Chennai ten months after her wedding day. Selvi Thambimuthu landed at Lester B. Pearson International Airport, Toronto on December 4, 2004.
Three Generations
“I felt really happy to see my new husband and new country but also a little bit sad leaving my family back in Chennai. I was also very curious about snow,” she recalls.
Now thirteen+ years later, Selvi and Siva, her husband, and their three handsome sons Pragadheesh (12), Harshan (10), and Vadhanan (8), are busy getting ready to open their second restaurant franchise next week in Toronto – “Starving Artist”!
Stars Align – A Love Story
A match made by both our parents and confirmed by 4 different astrologists, Selvi and Siva were married within eighteen days of meeting one another in person for the first time in 2004. They came to know one another long distance by phone and her first thought was “he looks just like his photograph”. Strong faith in family and even stronger faith in dreams bridged the distance then and now.
Living the Dream
“Work for your dreams. It will happen whatever you dream. It will come true. You need to believe.” she repeats to her sons. “I want my sons to have their own dreams and I will support them as my parents always supported me. Education is important, first and foremost!”
She remembers how her parents set her up for success, always reading, exploring, and fuelling her curiosity about the world. At age 12, her father gave her a black radio and brought the world inside their home each night at dinnertime.
Her earliest memory of Toronto was “Everyone on the subway was reading!” She used to buy “packages of books” for her sons and read Dr. Seuss’ favourites including “Cat in the Hat” twenty to thirty times a day.
Entrepreneurship & Education in Progress
It’s not clear if “Green Eggs and Ham” set the tone as Selvi and Siva bought their first waffle restaurant franchise in 2016 and opened “Starving Artist” in Midtown Toronto. It was also the year Selvi started (and now graduated!) George Brown College’s Office Administration – Health Services two-year diploma program. And 2016 was the year Selvi’s Mom came from Chennai to help them realize their dreams.
The entrepreneurial spirit thrives in their family. Her father once owned a machine shop in Chennai. And as all entrepreneurs know, you do what it takes to make things work so they live above their restaurant which makes a whole lot of logistical sense.
Soccer Dreams
Listening to Pragadheesh talk about his passion, soccer, with his eyes shining brightly, he is like most young first generation Canadians. They are strivers, strong-willed with extraordinary grit and determination.
When his father suggested they should book their tickets for the World Cup 2026 (Canada, U.S. and Mexico will be hosting), Pragadheesh reassured his father, “Don’t worry, Dad. I’ll be playing so I’ll have tickets for everyone.”
The Next Big Dream
And what’s next you might wonder from the lady who once pushed a stroller dubbed “The Rocket” by her co-workers to get her son to school on time?
Selvi now dreams about how she will furnish their next house, a much bigger house as their home as she remembers fondly her childhood home in Chennai, 10’ x 50’, where her dreams began. And now 13,400 kms away, I have no doubt this dream will also come true. Small business, big dreams!
One of my favorite things to do is write “thank you” notes, not virtual but paper notes you post by tossing them in one of those big boxes on your street corner. They’re still there. You could say I start each day grateful for being grateful. Another is when I talk to people, I love to look and listen for positivity. So you could say I hope for Hope. And my final confession is I can easily spend an hour or two listening to convocation addresses. This “secret” pleasure helps me aspire to inspire.
Yes, I’m the annoying person who jumps out of bed every morning, not with a partner (happily single) but with hope. When all you have is hope, you jump … you jump for joy, for love, for the next big idea, for whatever the new day brings!
However, for some and understandably so, loss and suffering make it difficult to get out of bed. Some fear having expectations because the disappointments are too big to bear. Some are grateful just ‘having a cup” because asking if your cup is half empty or half full would hurt too much to even ponder. And some start their sentences with “But the problem is ….”
We all have and will continue to experience loss – large losses like losing your identity, your job, your love, your business, your purpose in life and small losses like losing your car keys, forgetting a name, sometimes your smartphone (maybe that’s a large loss). This is what we call living.
Here’s how hope transcends loss. Listen to Sheryl Sandberg’s recent convocation address to the grads at Virginia Tech. Listen with or without judgement. Given Ms. Sandberg’s position of privilege and working as the COO at Facebook, some cynics refuse to acknowledge and sympathize. But we’re all human and when you suddenly lose your life partner, well, I feel very sad and sorry for her loss.
In her convocation address, Ms. Sandberg’s voice quivered and cracked slightly as she gave us a glimpse of her heart still raw and reeling from her loss – tender, emotional, and vulnerable. She continues boldly and brightly, wishing the graduates hope. She showed them the way to find hope:
“Seek shared experiences with all kinds of people. Write shared narratives that create the world you want to live in. Build shared hope in the communities you join and the communities you form. And above all, find gratitude for the gift of life itself and the opportunities it provides for meaning, for joy, and for love.”
The power of hope is about setting expectations and intentions, building dreams, big dreams, and believing you can make and leave the world a better place. “Resilience is a muscle. which we need to build.” says Ms. Sandberg. Why not exercise our resilience muscle first thing in the morning by jumping out of bed? Jump because you’ve been given another day. Jump because you are alive and kicking. And jump because together, we can make a big leap forward.
How two brothers turned a failed tech biz attempt into a consumer in-demand unique and healthy pasta! Love it! Read on #foodentrepreneurs for #inspiration
From The New York Times:
How Banza, a Chickpea Pasta Start-Up, Thrives on Attention
Two brothers took their chickpea pasta from obscurity to the shelves of national retailers, successfully demonstrating the fine art of self-promotion.
Today I had the honour and privilege of facilitating one of 14 round tables for 55 about-to-be #NewCanadianCitizens at the Ontario Science Centre as part of an initiative called #BuildingCitizenship for The Institute For Canadian Citizenship. The citizenship ceremony which followed was presided by the very warm and welcoming Justice Albert Wong. What a judge! Justice Wong came via #Malaysia and landed in #Sudbury (as I aspire to earn more medals)!
Justice Albert Wong
As a co-facilitator, my role was to ensure everyone at our table had a chance to share stories on why they chose to become a #Canadian citizen. We had such diversity in age, culture, and profession – a father who became a citizen 4 years ago came to witness his identical twin 20+ something year olds from Lahore, Pakistan; a smiling Dutchman who has been here for 14 years with his Montreal-born spouse; a lovely Colombian fellow who also married a Canadian and has been living in Canada for 8 years; and my co-facilitator, a distinguished retiree who came to Canada in early 70’s with $200 in his pocket from Zanzibar, Tanzania and now has a daughter and two grandchildren in Canada.
We were tasked to complete the sentence “I became a Canadian when ….” So at the end of our hour, we presented in 6 words our collective thoughts. It made us pause to think and reflect. The sports enthusiasts immediately shouted @BlueJays #ourmoment @Raptors #wethenorth . Sports always unite and binds community… immediately! No language needed. The more “seasoned” generation spoke about Canada as a land of “peace and heaven on earth” and “the beginning of new beginnings”. The creatives focused on the scale and scope of the beauty and vastness of Toronto and the distinctive four seasons in all their colour and glory.
However, the one person who I believe said it best was “when I am at the end of my travels, I am looking forward to coming home. Canada is “home” to me.”
Having worked and lived in faraway countries and in cultures so different from where I was born and brought up, a small Prairie town, I know this feeling all too well – “coming home”. Canada is home. Is it this feeling of comfort, joy, and love with undeniable certainty? Without a doubt, I couldn’t feel prouder to hear voices, young and old, from many different countries calling Canada “home” , “OUR home and native land”! #OCanada!
This week @HBKidsHospital reception, I found #inspiration! I spotted a young girl in her wheelchair, swiping fast and furious on her smartphone.
So I sidled over, “Are there any #Pokemons here?” She grinned, “Nope!” I showed her my screenshots of the Pokemons caught at @hudsonsbay the day before and said, “Look, they got me another 20% off!” We introduced ourselves and laughed!
I was meeting the CEO and Ms M was checking into her Youth@Work, an incredible program for high school students, age 15 through 20, (she’s 16) with #disabilities the opportunity to learn practical work skills through #coaching and short term placements. #jobskillsforyouth
In thoughtful detail as an event planner for a charity, she described how she was planning a fundraising dinner for 20 for her placement. The menu was difficult for her so we did a bit of #brainstorming.
“How about food reflecting her colour theme – green and white?” Ms M lit up! “Marshmallows! S’mores with shortbread cookies! Ice cream sandwiches with dairy-free gelato – vanilla, pistachio AND donated by my gelato-producing clients! #DoingGood Chicken, mushroom and white wine sauce, kale almond salad, spinach” We were on a roll. #SomethingGood
She suddenly stopped, “Oh, I have to get permission.” I said, “Of course.”
Did she know the word for what just happened? “Advocacy?” she hinted. Impressive! “How does #brainstorming and #networking sound?” She nodded happily.
I jotted a few notes on my business card, handed it to her, and suggested she pass along to the Program. Will they call? Let’s see.
Think Tank 2015 will be fun if nothing else! With no specific agenda, I am bringing together a group of smart young like-minded professionals from diverse backgrounds to see what happens! Idea incubation = ideation ?
Project Mentors For Many
Finding ways to best engage my roster of Mentors from 2014! This brilliant and seasoned group of multi-talented greats have much to say and share!
Project Food Finds
On the hunt for foods which fascinate and need a hand in launching. Starting off on the spicy trail first.
Project 1st Book
Yes, it’s time to take a big step in this direction. Forward and format formed. Ready, set, go!
Project TED
I’m taking the plunge and honing my public speaking skills. With help from my media savvy friend-coach, it’s practice practice practice and maybe… hopefully…take the stage!
