MsBizWiz – Page 3 – Jean Chow | Business & Career Coach

Staying Connected During COVID-19

I have a quote taped above my desk:

~ *Rev. Cecil Williams, Co-Founder* *and the Reverend in the film “The Pursuit of Happyness”.*

But what do we do in this time of COVID-19? How can networking skills help us if we can’t meet in person?

I often ask my students and audiences what “networking” means to them – “connecting, building relationships, meeting new people, making friends, socializing” to name a few. During this Covid-19 crisis, having networking skills will help us because as humans, we need connection. Technology makes it very easy for us to reach out and connect while maintaining social distance.

When I teach my networking workshops, the first networking skill in my “Five Hacks for Fearless Networking” © is to “Show Up”, overcoming the fear of social rejection. It takes courage to meet someone new in person and on-line.

Is setting up a social calendar useful when we can’t gather physically?

I have a friend who keeps a checklist to help her connect with family and friends who are near and dear to her. She also keeps another checklist to help her connect with professional contacts and colleagues.

I always maintain a professional calendar because of the nature of my business and now add to my whiteboard daily a list of my family and friends.

Which platforms are available for staying connected? Phone calls vs. Video chat vs. Social media vs email or snail mail?

I use them all!

Video Conferencing

Most platforms have similar features – share, chat, raise your hand, etc. I’ve use GoToMeeting, WebEx, and Zoom to hold meetings with clients pre-COVID-19 and was a guest panelist on an AGEWELL webinar hosted by Translational Research Project, U of T Faculty of Medicine a year ago on March 14, 2019 on I believe, WebEx.

I’ve transitioned my in-person classes on-line on Zoom quite seamlessly and as someone who is very social. I’m delightfully surprised how much I love teaching virtually. I recommend Zoom because it is simple to start and use and you don’t have to be a member to join a Zoom meeting.

Video calling and phone calls

I had planned an Easter visit to be with my 90+ year old parents in Calgary but of course, my visit has been postponed so I call now them daily, sometimes twice a day instead of our usual Sunday weekly call. This ritual provides all of us tremendous comfort and assurance. Hearing them say they love me every night means so much to me. My siblings also live in Calgary so they help connect me with our parents through video calling on Whats App and Facebook Messenger. My Dad loves touching the screen! Use video calling and phone calls if you want to reach someone you love and someone quickly.

Social Media

You either love it or leave it alone! I’m very active on social and connecting and engaging with friends, family, students, mentees, colleagues, acquaintances, and strangers through comments and direct messaging on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter.

My sister who had been a reluctant user of technology now does a fitness class with her soccer friend via video!

I recommend LinkedIn to stay relevant within your business network by posting comments and sharing if you don’t have time to contribute a post or an article.

Email

As a Boomer, we tend to default to email but I’m mindful when connecting with my younger friends (IG DM and Whats App) and my 22-year old niece (FB messenger) by choosing the media channel they use frequently.

Use email to connect with people of a certain age (Boomers) and also to maintain documentation or an “audit trail” on any important issues – business and personal.

Snail Mail

Snail mail also serves a unique purpose if you don’t mind physically receiving mail. I found Easter cards at Whole Foods last week, had stamps from Shoppers Drug Mart (available from cashiers), and popped them in the mail box with a little prayer that they reach my family and friends – so old school but another way to connect and send a little happiness.

Use snail mail because you’re like a mini-Amazon, delivering love, caring, and joy in an envelope or small package to anyone in the world.

What are some things we can do every day to avoid feeling too isolated?

Or what are some things we can do every day to stay happy at home?

Top 10 Tips to Stay Happy at Home During COVID-19

Keeping a journal – digital or paper – gives you a place to off load your thoughts. I also have this blog and contribute and share posts and articles on LinkedIn and other business blogs.
Do something nice for your neighbours whether you live in a condo, apartment building, or a house. Check in while maintain social distance and ask if you can pick something up for thing if you are making a quick trip to the grocery store.
Connect with nature. Walking meditation helps and a good one can be found in “Peace is Every Step” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Meditate even for 5 minutes to help clear your mind.
Learn something new! With so many ways to learn online – YouTube, IGTV, Coursera, etc., most of us have access to so much. We are fortunate because not everyone has Internet access. I’m sad to see on Twitter that people who don’t have Internet access gather around the exterior of branches of the Toronto Public Library trying to find a way to log in if they have cell phones. It also shows us the value of our libraries and social services.
Some establish new routines immediately. It grounds them and gives a sense of control. As a creative, I maintain some routine to get work done while also allowing (and sometimes scheduling) time for my mind to wander and be free.
Move! Make sure you move and not sit in front of your computer all day. Stretch! Jump! Dance! Do the Wonder Woman power pose made famous by Professor Amy Cuddy! With over 56 million views to date, watch her 2012 TED Talk: “Your body language may shape who you are”. “We know our minds can change our bodies but can our bodies change our minds?” ~ Amy Cuddy
Pick up the phone and call someone you love, someone who lives alone, someone you’re thinking of.
Take the initiative and identify someone you can help by introducing them to someone in your network who can help, mentor, share their expertise and experience.
Breathe and be thankful for all that you have this moment. The universe will unfold as it should.

Nothing is forever, not even COVID-19. Keep healthy. Keep safe. Keep connected.

The Most Vital Community Hub – Our Public Library

Before COVID-19, we had a choice in how we learn and teach at post-secondary institutions: in-person, on-line, or a bit of both.

As instructors, we collaborate with industry experts, fellow faculties and ancillary services, and communities within our network to enrich the learning process for our students.

In the mere weeks prior to shutdown, we had no idea how very fortunate we were to attend two on-site workshops at the Toronto Public Library. The expert Business and Reference Librarians at the two largest branches of the Toronto Public Library customized and seriously over-delivered for our students, teaching how to job search effectively and perform company research strategically using databases accessible and free with a TPL Card on:

Feb 29^th: Abbas Amarshi and Tashi Lhamo, North York Central Library for Seneca College Building Environmental Systems Bridging Program

Class at Library Workshop — Seneca College BES Cohort 10 with Abbas Amarshi, Librarian, North York Central Library

and

March 4^th: Angjelin Hila and Tony Rocchi, Toronto Reference Library for Ryerson Chang School Mid-level Management Bridging Program.

We cannot thank you enough!

And as students in the City of Toronto, both cohorts were eligible and left with Library cards, giving them 38 ways to access many services free. Here’s a few:

Learn 70+ languages with Mango Languages. Access online with your Library Card.

Stream kids’ videos including Sesame Street. Use your Library Card to sign into Kanopy.

Learn online courses on digital creativity – graphic design, web design and more. Free with your Library Card.

Kids and families can listen to a story by phone any time of day for free by calling the library’s Dial-a-Story (416) 393-5400 in 16 languages.

Even during these extraordinary and difficult times, we can still almost find whatever we need at the Library. Even those with modest incomes and no wi-fi hover near their Library branch to catch the Library’s wi-fi connection. Again, we cannot thank you enough.

But did you know the Toronto Public Library have become pop-up food banks?

Yes, TPL’s Ellesmere Road distribution centre is now a food warehouse, helping the Daily Bread Food Bank , North York Harvest Food Bank, and Second Harvest get food out to those in need. In a week, 10 out of 100 TPL branches are now food banks and still scaling.

To no surprise, a call to action for Library staff to be volunteers was filled within an hour. Who else knows their communities best? And it’s no secret that a Librarian’s superpower is infinite compassion. Librarians, as your 2013 Entrepreneur-in-Residence and now guest speaker, I’ve witnessed on several occasions your patience and your grace when helping everyone and anyone. You are the most humane of us all.

Thank you for keeping us well-fed and well-read … and safe! We truly cannot thank you enough, Librarians, but know we appreciate all that you do as our most vital community hub. Stay safe and see you again soon!

25 Hard-earned Lessons Learned – One soundbite at a time

photograph of a heart as a snack — Photo Credit: Russ and Reyn

In these uncertain and unprecedented times of social distancing and self-isolation, we still have so much…even toilet paper!

I don’t get it. Maybe it’s because I was born and raised in a small town, pop. 34,000 called Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada. Google it! I had it all on the prairies – big open sky, flat prairies where you can see forever, and the friendliest people in the world. Why would I leave? The answer can be found in a number of boxes.

baby in a makeshift playpen a chip box — Fulfilling a prophecy

In fact I paid a tribute to these boxes in my commencement address titled “On Boxes and Belonging” for the 2018 graduating class of internationally educated and trained professionals at Ryerson University’s The G. Raymond Chang School of Continuing Education.

Unpacking and packing these boxes meant carrying and storing hard-earned lessons learned from country to country. Learning weighs a ton so I’ve curated my top 25 hard-earned lessons learned so here you go, one soundbite at a time in random order because life is random.

Lesson 1 – Schedule time to dream. Freely.

You don’t need to be a billionaire to do it. No one can buy time. Give it a try. Time gives us creativity.

Lesson 2 – Reflection does not mean reliving the past.

My two guest speakers this week reminded me to remember and share my lessons learned…so here they are.

Lesson 3 – Mentors are everywhere.

You don’t need to always ask. You just need to listen well to find them. Be respectful and reasonable because they mentor many.

Lesson 4 – Doors always appear.

If you are present, you will see opportunities and have a choice to walk through the door or not.

Lesson 5 – Be “colour blind”. Not everyone is.

People will judge you by the way you look. Those who aren’t “colour blind”, tread carefully. Don’t let them stop you from being who you are.

Lesson 6 – Listen, always listen. Listen to both your heart and your head.

Learn to trust your instincts. If you feel queasy and uneasy, heed the red flags. But if your gut says go, then run and don’t look back.

Lesson 7 – Know what makes your parents happy.

It’s not always about you. After all, they gave you life.

Lesson 8 – Wear even walk in another person’s shoes.

Of course, they won’t always fit but only then you will know empathy.

Lesson 9 – Draw and know your line in the sand. Now.

Know in advance so when you’re asked to cross it, usually in crisis situations, you won’t hesitate and know what to do.

Lesson 10 – Know when to quit. It’s ok.

Seth Godin, Marketing Guru calls it “The Dip”. Stop when all you have is a hammer and everything starts looking like a nail.

Lesson 11 – Handle unbridled passion with care. It needs the cross and skull bones hazard label.

Don’t get burned. Passion is poison if you let loose. Be alert. Always!

Lesson 12 – The toughest battle will be the one you have with yourself.

Put pride aside so that you can put food on the table. Ask for help. Help is everywhere – open heart, open mind, and open arms.

Lesson 13 – Always be a student.

Be it washing dishes or windows, creating software or songs, look at life like a student. Don’t think you are the smartest person in the room. Learn more.

Lesson 14 – Know how to fall. Properly.

You will be caught. Get up again.

Lesson 15 – Adapt. Accept. Grow.

Nothing is forever. Unless it’s change. “Perspective is the function of experience.” ~ Brené Brown, Professor, University of Houston. Adapt to change and gain more perspective.

Lesson 16 – People can be anything but predictable.

Dig a little deeper and go beyond the surface to spot patterns in behavior. But don’t bet the farm on it. People are unpredictable.

Lesson 17 – Grace is not just a name but a virtue.

What comes with growth is grace.

Lesson 18 – Remember it takes two to tango.

When you think you have all the bases covered, especially in crucial conversations, keep finding other ways to connect and increase the probability of understanding.

Lesson 19 – Know the politics. Don’t play them.

“Be aware of politics but don’t play them.” ~ Indra Nooyi, former CEO at Pepsi. Where are the “landmines”? Find great mentors to help you avoid them.

Lesson 20 – Common sense is not common. Everyone has limits.

No one is perfect. Loyalties affect livelihood and there are limits to how much one can do to help. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Look for goodness in others.

Lesson 21 – You don’t need much to be happy.

What does happiness mean to you? Not your parents, not your spouse or partner, not your friends or your colleagues. What does happiness mean to you?

Lesson 22 – No learning is lost.

Even when you come in second. As a striver, it’s hard not to come out ahead or on top but you move on.

Lesson 23 – Don’t look away from the truth.

Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts. The truth circles back so you get a second chance to learn … even a third.

Lesson 24 – The Universe will unfold as it should.

Timing is everything. Know when to go with the flow and when to course-correct.

Lesson 25 – Believe.

MLK and Thich Nhat Han — Young Martin Luther King & Thich Nhat Hanh

Believe the universe is interconnected. If you do harm, it will ripple like a pebble striking water. If you do good, it will travel the same path and last for an eternity.

“The source of love is deep in us, and we can help others realize a lot of happiness. One word, one action, or one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring them joy. One word can give comfort and confidence, destroy doubt, help someone avoid a mistake, reconcile a conflict, or open the door to liberation. One action can save a person’s life or help him take advantage of a rare opportunity. One thought can do the same, because thoughts always lead to words and actions. If love is in our heart, every thought, word, and deed can bring about a miracle. Because understanding is the very foundation of love, words and actions that emerge from our love are always helpful.” “Peace is Every Step” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh .

3 Important Lessons Learned on International Women’s Day 2020

Stunned, we listened intently while our keynote speaker, Maya Kolaczynski from McKinsey Canada gave us the stats and facts from McKinsey’s report: “Women Matter – The present and future of women at work in Canada” June 2019.

I was still reeling from the stats as I sat with our panel which followed Maya’s talk last Thursday at JLabs Toronto’s “International Women’s Day: From the Classroom to the Boardroom – Navigating Your Career as a Woman”. How could so little change from 40 years ago when I was an earnest young tax auditor at the start of my career? What lessons did I learn from my time at JLabs Toronto?

IWD 2020 – Lesson #1

The “leaky” talent pipeline reminded me that the under representation of women has been around for a very long time – 40 years and counting? The report showed modest progress since 2017 toward gender equality at the entry level. But the biggest gap still exists between men and women beyond the entry level

“None of the companies on the TSX 70 index – a cross section of the largest and most heavily traded Canadian stocks – listed a woman as its CEO.” 5.

IWD 2020 – Lesson #2

I have been and still am a strong proponent of mentorship, having developed a successful professional mentorship program for newcomer professionals. But I had neglected to also include sponsorship.

And although I also understand the importance of sponsors, I was abruptly “woke” when Maya presented the power of sponsorship on one’s career.

“Sponsors play a critical role in an employee’s career development and advancement … sponsors will introduce their proteges to influential connections, highlight their work to senior leaders, and recommend them for jobs and promotions.”

IWD 2020 – Lesson #3

The moment I made this immediate and gigantic mind shift towards sponsorship, I realized how I can help young women plug “the leaky talent pipeline”! Young women like our emerging and new scientists in the audience and who introduced themselves and overwhelmed me with their honesty, transparency, and vulnerability. Their authentic desire to up-skill was refreshing and I left the event knowing they will leave the world a better place. And there is no time like the present!

My sincere thanks to Amanda Raponi and #JLabs for hosting this special IWD event, Caitlin Gagnon, our moderator Global Head of Executive Search-Pharma, Johnson & Johnson, and my co-panelists: Jennifer Moody, COO Morphocell Technologies, Drew Taylor, CEO & Co-Founder, Acorn Biolabs and Marian Nakada, VP, Venture Investments, Johnson & Johnson Innovation – JDCC for sharing their sage advice, and Maya Kolaczynski for sharing McKinsey Canada’s “Women Matter” report. #womenhelpingwomen #menhelpingwomen #whywenetwork

Parasite – The Brilliance of Bong

Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up! It’s uncomfortable counting the minutes because the hours, days, years just don’t seem to be enough.

There’s SO much left to do. People to meet, projects to finish, films to watch. Who knew that the Academy Award-winning film, “Parasite” would be voted the best picture not only of 2019 but also in my humble opinion, of all time?

Humanity is full on in “Parasite” as we watch the two families, the wealthy Park family and the destitute Kim family, swerve, collide, back up, only to do the “dance” again and again.

“You’re not good enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not like me,” They tell him, with that extra little jab and twist. Sometimes you start believing Them instead of believing yourself. It happens when you lose your livelihood, your faith, and your self-respect. It happens in a heartbeat. and it happens to us all … and more than once. Survival means focusing on today, the present, because tomorrow may never come. “Survival of the fittest” takes on a new meaning after adversity strikes. Your world suddenly shrinks and fits on a pinhead – shelter and food first. The Kims know it all too well.

Mr. Kim’s ability to feed his family defined his self-worth as he tried to perfect the art of folding pizza boxes. The Wealthy Parks turned their noses up, complaining about “The Smell”, the smell of poverty, the smell of Mr. Kim, so offensive to The Wealthy Parks. This constant shredding of dignity in front of Mr. Kim is visceral and unrelenting right up until the end of the film when you shall see what remains.

It reminded me of the lyrics of Joni Mitchell’s song “Big Yellow Taxi” – “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” But I won’t spoil it for you. Just know the “Brilliance of Bong” shone brightly. You may need your sunglasses. And you won’t be disappointed.

Fail Fast? Not so fast …

I shudder each time I hear “fail fast”. Words are gold – precious and not to be taken lightly. Honour your words. Failing is not an Olympic sport. It’s not as easy as it looks when you crash into the boards, fall on the slopes, turn an ankle and then dust yourself off, pick yourself up, and forge ahead and sometimes limp to the finish line.

If I’m not mistaken, “fail fast” means to not dwell but to iterate, rapid prototype, A/B test, push boundaries, be daring, be courageous, be bold until you find a solution, an answer, a way to cross the “finish line”. Failing hurts. We don’t live in the hope we fail, do we?

Bianca Andreescu, our Canadian tennis phenom, prepares for her matches with visualization and meditation. “Working your mind (is important) because at this level everyone knows how to play tennis. The thing that separates the best from the rest is just the mindset.”

My Top Ten+ Losses and Gains (not in any order of importance):

Loss of Country – Embrace the World.
Loss of Home – Know how “home” truly feels.
Loss of Job – Know work is not your worth.
Loss of Career – Gain creativity.
Loss of best friend – Gain acceptance.
Loss of spouse – Know truth.
Loss of all possessions – Know peace.
Loss of mind – Gain self-compassion.
Loss of confidence – Gain courage.
Loss of sibling – Gain acceptance.
Loss of health – Gain patience.
Loss of business – Gain perspective.

Every loss and gain effects change. Through the lenses of loss, we endure, grow, and become more humane and maybe even more human. As we say good-bye to 2019 and position ourselves for a new year, a new decade, learn, learn fast. Listen, listen attentively. Lead, lead authentically and dream a little dream.

Convergence

Last Friday night, we were three women left standing, or dare I say, “swimming” in our community centre’s pool out of twelve who had started in “Older Adult Swim One” (very tentative beginners) nine weeks ago.

Like a wet bathing suit, my fear of water still clung to me. But that night, it felt different. The water was warm, almost inviting after coming out of the cold. The pool was all ours. The other classes finished a week earlier. So peaceful, so calm, and under the watchful eye of Andrew, our Gen Z instructor, we got to practice on anything we wanted.

We all tread water for awhile, arms and legs going off in all directions, different speeds, awkward motions with our life jackets on until we tired out.

Then while the others were swimming, I tried to float (again) on my back. I tried everything during these nine Friday lessons. Missing a few didn’t help. I floated with the noodle, that lengthy lifeline.

I tried to float without the noodle still gripping tightly to the pool edge with one hand and then letting go. I tried visualization but this jack knife pose sunk me. I tried positive self talk but I had too much on my mind. I tried to relax but I kept breathing at the wrong time so that water kept going up my nose.

Then I stopped trying so hard and resorted to a silent prayer. “Please if there is a God, let me float even for 2 seconds.” I let go of the edge and I finally felt this odd sensation for first 2 seconds, then again for 3 seconds. Was this floating? I could hear cheers from my swim-mates and Andrew. “You did it!” I did? I did! Funny how moving towards your goal can feel so empowering and motivating even for two seconds. I walked out of the pool wondering when I could get back in again to experiment and try again.

Our “report cards” were displayed on the table as we exited. We should have given Andrew a medal for bravery. He survived teaching adults for the first time. My swim mates perfected their kicking and gliding. We all had our small victories. But as in all victories, it is the journey we revel and relish. We started out as strangers, four generations – Gen X, Y, Z plus Boomer, as equals in a learning environment that made us braver, friendlier, and kinder. #whenweallwinweallwin

Learn by Doing

I would like to spend the rest of my life creating social experiments, the simpler, the more powerful. Take for example, the social experiment by Daniel Pink. He quickly captured the attention of the graduating Class of 2016 at Georgetown University . It only took 20 seconds but it was unforgettable.

Inspired, I created my own social experiment although it is still taking shape even after 2 years. After teaching my first networking workshop in July 2017, our twelve adult learners decided they wanted to stay connected to one another. So I asked them if they would like to me to give them a “challenge” to complete and we would compare notes in a follow up meet up in six weeks which they agreed.

And although they leaned more towards introversion and didn’t know one another, they seemed to genuinely like one another. I often wondered what would happen if we threw together people randomly. What ideas would form? What types of conversations would emerge? Would they be able to build new relationships after a casual meet up? Would there be friendships formed, mentorship opportunities matched, even a little romance perhaps? I hope. Fingers crossed.

It’s been an exciting, this experiential learning. We’re still tweaking our format but after 14 Drop Ins, we’ve come accustomed to the random pairing of people, at times supported with prompt questions which are sent beforehand. I can observe and detect the range of emotions in their body language and facial expressions each time I approach a pair to ask if they are ready to switch partners. Everyone meets at least 4 -6 new people by the end of the evening.

Our Dream Networkers are courageous, compassionate, and caring people. Yoda would be proud as they “do or do not. (They know) there’s no try.” I also learn a lot from everyone. Meeting new people is not easy. We are vulnerable and manage a lot of different fears and anxiety. But once we realize our fear is exaggerated, then it becomes easier to face. When we visualize the best scenario, we’re energized and motivated to face our fears. And each time we meet someone new, we begin to trust ourselves a little more and gradually, we become more calm and confident and then we look for ways to help others. It’s like a dream and then becomes a reality.

OK Boomer – the meme that just won’t go away

It’s Ok. Ask a Boomer. We’re not dead. Not yet. My student and I were walking to the subway early November when suddenly a young man (evidently eavesdropping on our conversation about technology and Boomers) from behind yelled out, “What’s a boomer?”

“Excuse me, a what?” a definite sign of an aging Boomer. Is he serious? Does he really not know?

“Ask your parents … or maybe your grandparents.” I winced with one eyebrow arched while sizing up his age. “It’s a category, a demographic like you’re a Millennial or maybe a Gen Z-er. Got it?”

He nodded, “I had no idea.”

I learned later that he knew. His question was a twist on the meme, “OK Boomer”. It had been making its rounds on the Internet. OK Boomer is slang for dissing out-dated opinions coming from the Baby Boomer generation and older. It’s the opposite of “OK”. I was the one who had no idea.

Here’s a handy reference updated from last year by Mental Floss on who’s a Boomer and who’s not:

The Silent Generation: Born 1928-1945 (73-91 years old)
Baby Boomers: Born 1946-1964 (54-73 years old)
Generation X: Born 1965-1980 (38-54 years old)
Millennials: Born 1981-1996 (22-38 years old)
Gen Z – Post-Millennials: Born 1997-Present (0-22 years old)

I despair. This inter-generational warfare and anti-Boomer sentiment can be quite harsh and cruel. Andrew Ferguson, staff writer (also a Boomer) at “The Atlantic” recently published “Everyone Hates the Boomer, OK?” and informed us that while memes come and go quickly, as Boomers we’re still stuck on “OK Boomer”.

Gen Zers decided to have printed T-shirts inscribed with “OKAY BOOMER HAVE A TERRIBLE DAY.” ~ New York Times . More ill will putting our world on tilt. We need to take a step (several steps) back to get some perspective.

Perspective – What the Experts Say

Daniel H. Pink, former Vice-President, Al Gore’s speechwriter, is the author of best-selling business books about motivation and sales. Pink opened his 2016 commencement address to the graduating class of (still Millennials) at Georgetown University with his clever 20-second social experiment on perspective-taking and showed why “as we grow in our career and gain more power, we tend to lose our perspective-taking ability and to keep it in check.”

Stephen R. Covey, author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” on perspective: “Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy – the mental, the emotional, the psychological differences between people. And the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.”

Why Two Perspectives Are Better Than One

We gain more perspective by getting outside our comfort zone, meeting new people, and learning new things. At the same, we amp up our empathy. But there are times when empathy doesn’t factor into the human equation:

“We just finished our first meeting so you might like to join us for the next one. Well, maybe not as you can see, we’re much younger than you.”

“She’s been around a long time. Honestly, our ideas are way better. Why doesn’t she just let us take over?”

Then there is silence in a working group. Every once in awhile, heads pop up from their screens with wide-eyed stares and still not a word is spoken.

Can’t we find some common ground to collaborate and value our differences? Claire Kennedy, Chair of the Governing Council of the University of Toronto in her convocation message at St. Michael’s College this November, “This is the time when the world urgently needs more grace.”

Perspective and Grace

How do we gain more perspective? One way is to get outside your comfort zone. In my previous post, getting outside your comfort zone means overcoming fear, a work-in-progress.

Standing in the queue at the grocery store recently, a Millennial was in front of me. She turned and greeted me. We had met last year at an ideas summit. We ended up comparing notes on swim lessons which left me inspired, having learned a new strategy on how to overcome my fear of water. Her name is “Grace”. The world urgently needs more grace.

Perspective and Kindness

George Sanders teaches creative writing at Syracuse University. His debut novel “Lincoln in the Bardo” won the 2017 Man Booker Prize. In “Congratulations … By the Way – Some thoughts on Kindness” based on his convocation address for the Class of 2013 at Syracuse University, Professor Saunders is haunted by his memory of a new kid in his 7^th Grade named “Ellen” and why to this day, he still remembers her. His two “million-dollar questions” were:

“Why aren’t we kinder?

Apparently, we have these three “built-in confusions”:

“We’re central to our universe.” Our story is the only story, the only one that matters.
“We’re separate from the universe.” – There’s “Us” and then the rest of them.
“We’re permanent.” – You’re going to die but not me.

OK Millennial. OK Boomer.

“How do we become kinder?”
“Kindness is hard. … Becoming kinder happens naturally with age. As we get older, we come to see how useless it is to be selfish… We get our butts kicked and people come to the rescue and we’re not that separate, and we don’t want to be. Most people, as they age, become less selfish and more loving.”

OK Boomer. OK Millennial.

To the graduating class of 2013 (still Millennials), George Saunders ended his speech: “Your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now.”

Why? Because the world needs more “Grace”.

One thing Warren Buffet can’t buy on Amazon on Black Friday – time

Photo Credit: Jean Chow

Black Friday is no ordinary Friday. Big box retailers like Amazon are having the “biggest ever Black Friday” starting one week in advance, of course. Although it’s Prime Time on Amazon, Warren Buffet, the highly successful investor, and us ordinary folks would be hard pressed to buy time. So “I better be careful with it (time). There is no way I will be able to buy more time”, Buffett cautioned his friend, Bill Gates, in their 2018 interview.

Billionaires, Gates and Richard Branson, believe we need to “schedule time to just dream and think freely.” As a non-billionaire, I schedule my dream time efficiently – while I am dreaming. Clarity comes often just before I open my eyes. Allowing our minds to rest and wander gives us access to creativity. Time gives us creativity.

I met Frank O’Dea, co-founder of Second Cup, in 2013 and again in 2018. His struggle with alcohol and abuse is remarkable in “When All you Have is Hope”. In “Do the Next Right Thing – Surviving Life’s Crises”, he outlined the need to:

First find peace.
Draw on a higher power.
Do the next right thing.

Take the time. Time gives us peace.

I once envied youth for all the time they have ahead of them. I urged them to not waste one single second. Of course, they laughed at me. They have all the time in the world, don’t they? Apathy perhaps?

Comfortably past mid-life now, I no longer envy nor worry but watch with wonder the way youth race through life at Mach 9.6 speed. What will they do with all that time on their hands? More importantly, what will time give them? More opportunities? More wisdom, experience? More apathy? (surely not)

Will they meet new people #IRL (in real life)? Will they gain new perspectives by learning from others unlike them? Will they rise like Frank O’Dea when faced with unfathomable struggles? Time will tell.

I’ve met Sandra Shamas . When asked if she is a comedian, she says, “only if they laugh”. “My Boyfriend’s Back and There’s Going to be Laundry” was a big hit. We’re the same age. I borrowed a math “quiz” from her Show while making not too fine a point about the value of mentorship and experience. “How much time do we have left to live?” I had asked during a keynote for a bewildered group of aspiring entrepreneurs a few years ago.

We’ve got 30 years if our stars align properly. Sandra had asked: “What’s that in days?” 10,950 days, not a heck of lot. Try hours? 262,800 hours. Really? 15,768,000 minutes. 946,080,000 seconds, yep, that’s all we’ve got.

Looking back 30 years, I was the same age as they were that day. I asked them how many years separated us. 30 years. I then asked them to reflect on their lives so far and what they hoped to accomplish in the next 30 years. I asked them to think about how many more stories they would have to tell in another 30 years.

Then I shared with them a quote from Lubna Olayan now the first Chairwoman of a Saudi bank and one of the most powerful and influential women in the world according to TIME, Forbes, and Fortune. In “Fortune September 2015 , she said: “The more challenges you face in life, the more of life you experience – this lived experience gives one the “influence” to impact others’ lives.”

As mentors and mentees across the generations, we would make time to listen to understand one another instead of dismissing ourselves as Millennials and Boomers. We might learn something from one another that might help us save time. Anyone need more time?

Time gives us opportunities to share our experience and knowledge. Lifelong learning takes a long time, a life time. regardless of our age. Why not collaborate and co-create? Time is ticking so we best start now. #cometogether