Being in nature sure has its benefits. We early birds, 1,400 in total, were treated to brilliant storytelling by University of Toronto alumni, Malcolm Gladwell, at Convocation Hall as part of the Big Speakers Series hosted by Rotman School of Management on October 1, 2019 at 8:00am. Heather Reisman, CEO Indigo, also got up early to interview him.
Malcolm Gladwell University of Toronto Rotman School of Mgt Oct 1, 2019
However signing 1,400 copies of his new book “Talking to Strangers” would have been daunting but we still had our copy unsigned in hand. And of course, we had our talk.
As I exited Convo Hall, I revelled in the beautiful morning light wishing I had my DSLR camera. I chose the longer, leafier route along King’s College Circle en route to the subway.
Then I spotted him, slipping out the back door! People nodded politely and he nodded back. But no nodding for me! I quickly scurried from behind and shouted, “Malcolm!” I was loud and clear. So loud and clear with my big booming voice.
He stopped. I smiled. I asked. “Would you please sign your book for me?” We walked. He asked my name… no time for a senior moment. He scribbled.
In the next 20 seconds, I told him I quoted him often about rapid cognition from his book, “Blink – The Power of Thinking Without Thinking” in my networking workshops which I teach at U of T School of Continuing Studies.
He grinned. I thanked. We parted. “Have a nice day!” And then I said, “Damn, I should have called you “Mr. Malcolm errrr … Mr. Gladwell”. He grinned again and walked away, disappearing into the still beautiful morning light.
Anyone notice the power red shoes on the #TelusPitch2019 Competition stage this past Tuesday? RED is the colour of power, passion, purpose, and at times, politics.
Why Wear Red
At a another event, I noticed this shimmering, slick red lipstick worn by one of my colleagues. We swapped lipstick intel – Hers “Outlaw Brick Red” by Kat Von D and mine? “Ruby Woo” by Mac.
Ruby Woo Mac Lipstick
In “Social Media Strategy” class a couple of years ago, my classmate and I presented a clever social media campaign for a designer lipstick. To our surprise, we noticed that we were all wearing “Ruby Woo” in class. “Ruby” made it up to Everest Base Camp with our classmate. #WhyWearRed ? Power – Passion – Purpose – Politics
So when I read Erika Thorkelson’s article “Why Wearing Lipstick Is a Small Act of Joyful Resistance” in a Canadian periodical, “The Walrus” and shared it immediately with The Lipstick Ladies. “Lipstick is unapologetically feminine. That’s what makes it so rebellious.” – the author’s powerful tagline.
Women in Red
Vivian Maier
RED gives women a visual voice. RED means business and you had better listen. Vivian Maier, affectionately aka the Nanny Photographer, captured countless photographs including this book cover. Her intriguing life story as an unknown yet brilliant street photographer can be found in a permanent collection in the Chicago History Museum.
For the Telus event, I went with a “Normal Business Navy” dress for networking and added a dash of “Ruby Woo” which, at the time, seemed appropriate.
I ought to know because for the past couple of years, I’ve been teaching, talking about, living and breathing networking. I felt confident as I strolled through the big glass corporate doors. As I scanned the crowd, I took a quick pulse check on the energy in the room and found it to be somewhat frenetic. Then a series of faux pas started to unravel.
Faux Pas #1
The first person I recognized was already heading towards me. She had interviewed me for an business blog seven years ago. Excited to reconnect, I reached out to greet her but as she approached, she looked me in the eye as I acknowledged her name. But then suddenly, she turned and walked away. I was gob-smacked with my handshake extended and hanging in thin air. Maybe she didn’t hear me. Maybe she didn’t recognize me. Maybe she just didn’t care. But she definitely saw me. Could this happen to one of my students? How do I prepare them for situations like this? Mental note: Sometimes you need a thicker skin for networking. I continued to wind my way in and then saw someone else I knew.
Faux Pas #2
After a courteous exchange, she introduced me to her colleague standing beside her. We also made eye contact but then it happened again. After a quick “hello”, she immediately turned her back on me and started looking for someone else. That was impressive. She didn’t need Malcolm Gladwell’s requisite two seconds for rapid cognition. She made up her mind in one “hello” whether she liked me or not. That’s one topic we do cover in our workshop.
Faux Pas #3
Undaunted third time lucky maybe, I tried once again to engage with another tech entrepreneur. This time no eye contact as her eyes shifted, a telltale sign wanting to escape. I mentioned that I heard the bar was about to close so that she could bolt away… and she did.
I grinned to myself, thinking how ironic it was to be struggling to communicate at telecommunications event! “Hel-lo?” Was I a little rusty in “reading the room” which was full of people admittedly half my age or dare I say more than half? Were my expectations unrealistic, outdated? How would my students weather these awkward situations? What would they have done in my shoes? Maybe swap them the “Normal Business Navy” for the “Power RED”. But as always, the universe unfolded as it should as I perssisted and eventually stumbled upon a few good people.
The Bartender told me about a music app that allowed people to tip musicians after I inquired about a tip jar for the bartenders because none were present. Maybe no one carries cash and maybe no one cares which is truly unfortunate and sad for those earning a living in the food and beverage industry.
The Undergrad Student shared how her background in training as a former ballerina helped her develop exceptional time management skills and as a result, helped her get her summer job with her employer, a start-up sponsor of the event. She reminded me fondly of my speed-skating niece and I invited her our Dream Network, a coffee drop-in for diverse and curious minds.
The Emerging Entrepreneur who sat in the row behind me and told me how her knees shook during the first round of the Pitch Competition. But she was deeply grateful for the experience. She is developing an app to help fund African Millennials to see the world. I also invited her to our Dream Network.
And as the event wrapped up, I heard the Master of Ceremonies call out onto the stage a familiar name. Hey, I know him, my super-nice-guy squash friend whom I haven’t seen in six years! My squash pro always said “all roads lead to squash” … even if it is at the end of the road.
I made a quick note to self for my next networking workshop – Remember RED, the colour of power, passion, purpose. and politics. RED can also give you that bit of extra push to get you outside your comfort zone. And even if it is only the colour of your lipstick, you are “unapologetically feminine and … rebellious!”
Toronto Reference Library Beeton Hall JULY 18, 2019
In the Library World, decency, diversity, and
dignity reside. When you step up to the Library desk and ask a Librarian
anything, you are gold. Last Thursday night I spoke in front of eighty-two library
patrons. This is a community I’ve come to know and love locally and world-wide.
As I adjusted my lapel microphone and tested the clicker for my slides, I wondered how they would respond. Will they feel safe to share their own stories? New to public speaking, the risk of being unable to connect with audiences is great. It happens. I am outside my comfort zone as I scanned their faces – younger, older, fresh out of school, from a kaleidoscope of countries in anticipation of what I was about to say. I took stock of their body language. The moment of truth has arrived. Like a Swiss army knife, I searched for “the right tools, the right words” to set the stage and with a deep breath, I started.
“So you already made up your mind whether you like me or not.” And they laughed as I breathed out and smiled. A few frowned with disapproval while others nodded with empathy. That night our library patrons were keen, wanting to be heard and sharing their experiences. Their questions stirred debate and I was thrilled with their engagement.
I am reminded of Stephen R. Covey’s quote in his “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. “Valuing our differences is the essence of synergy…. And the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.”
And my topic? “Network: Anywhere Anytime with Anyone”, a unique perspective on meeting new people … in real life #IRL while decency, diversity, and dignity lives on at the Library.
When did you last visit your public library branch? DYK our libraries create opportunities to learn, engage, and build new relationships, forming new communities?
Have you observed the patrons who go in and out the doors? It was closing time last night #bloorgladstone . I let the last patron go ahead of me on my way out. Where will he go next with his belongings overflowing in his small cart?
Most mornings, I head for the 4th floor #torontoreferencelibrary to get my key for “The Writer’s Room” to learn more👉 https://bit.ly/2JpHlJw I walk past another regular patron. I see him because he is always at “his table” face down with his belongings scattered around him. I try to find small ways to help – food, some small token of hope. For us, the Library is home, office, a safe space to rest, to create, to be.
Since 2013 I have the privilege of collaborating with #torontolibrary . I try my best to #payitforward because the Library has given me much more than I could possibly hope to give back. #abundance#gratitude
“Stranger danger” is a catchy phrase coined by Keith Rollag in his 2015 book, “What To Do When You’re New”. It’s what some people experience whenever walking into a room full of strangers at a conference, event, or meet up.
Of course, there’s that nagging added pressure from your boss, reminding you to “make good connections”.
Susan Jeffers, the Guru of Fear, was an American psychologist and in her popular 2011 book , “Feel the Fear … and Do It Anyway, she delves into the different types of fear and how to handle them.
So what’s the price you’re willing to pay by not introducing yourself to someone new who could help with information that might lead to a first job, a new job, a change in career so that you can do something passionate day in, day out?
And what’s the price you’re willing to pay by not walking up to someone who could be a potential mentor and shaking hands and instead you end up staying lost in a sea of indecision and quandary?
What’s the price you’re willing to pay by not meeting and greeting potential clients who could become your clients so that you can turn your business around?
That price is steep. How can the power of conversation help you connect better with someone new? “Fearless Networking: Connecting Creatively and Confidently” is our half-day professional skill-building workshop at the University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies and open to everyone! Learn how our “Five Hacks for Powerful Networking” can help you handle “stranger danger”. We’ll also take a closer look at your current network and learn how to make it more effective. Why not register and jump in on a Saturday morning session – Feb 23rd or Jun 15th? Discover and then boost your networking IQ!
Not only is the AGO free after 6 on Wednesdays but also AGO is free for students AGO Free After Three for youth ages 14 to 25.
One of our members got his first full time professional job in Canada at OMD!
We toured Singapore, Malaysia, and Sri Lanka over the holidays via slide show of spectacular photos taken with a new Google Pixel 3 XL of family, tea plantations, food, and the Lexis Hibiscus in Port Dickson, Malaysia.
New friends, a Chem rockstar from SDZ Ryerson and an Iranian Azeri now living with his roommate from my hometown Moose Jaw and working as an engineer in Vaughan. We heard a fascinating tale of true grit chasing a dream of becoming a helicopter pilot.
Another member took time out from working on her Master’s in Public Health and her practicum at Baycrest Centre . Lots of talk on how to take care of dogs, big (Ridgeback) and small (Maltese) and the most unusual and remarkable thing that dogs can learn how to do.
Introducing the new $245 m Calgary Public Library, East Village near Downtown Calgary Dec 2018
Drone pilots might be the trending skill in demand.
It’s been almost a year since two of our members attended my networking workshop: “Hacking the Networking Code” at U of T SCS. Renamed “Fearless Networking – Connecting Creatively & Confidently”, our next workshop is now a new half-day format on Feb 23rd from 9am to 12:30pm.
Two more upcoming networking events which I’ll be facilitating:
Our friendly barista at AGO Espresso Bar is a also Psychology student at York U and is a musician who loves to help people. He traveled to Chang Rai, northern Thailand, 4 years ago and volunteered for 4 months at “New Life Foundation” a mindfulness support center set up by a Belgian entrepreneur for those who are recovering from addiction.
Thanks everyone for sharing. Our next meetup is February 27, 2019 and an invite will be out soon. Guests are most welcome.
Improv or improvisation is often thought of as comedy with quick and snappy witticisms and can be very entertaining. The Second City is “The World’s Premier School of Comedy”! Who else has alumni such as John Candy, Tina Fey, Mike Meyers, Alan Alda, Steve Carrell, Eugene Levi, Amy Poehler to name a few?
As a recent grad of “RewireU”, an intensive 2.5 day improv workshop at Second City this summer, I aspire to the next level of improv classes. And I have also made improv an integral part of our #networking workshops at University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies.
“Yes and” (The Second City mantra) here are the 5 ways that #improv can help you become a better networker:
Make friends with uncertainty and change – be comfortable with reacting in unpredictable situations.
Get clear value – gain clarity on how you perceive yourself, what you bring to the table, and how you describe what you have to offer, your “brand”, your value.
Act decisively – make quick decisions and be comfortable in changing your decisions.
Build self-confidence – learn to speak clearly. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Get comfortable with silence and the power of the pause.
Know your physical presence – how do you stand? Where do you sit in a meeting? How do you enter a room?
Why not join us on November 3rd Saturday to learn more about “Hacking the Networking Code”? Discover how you can shift your mindset from seeing networking as a necessary evil to creating opportunities for growth and building quality relationships and an amazing network. “Yes and” click here to register now or contact Jean Chow at [email protected] for more details.
Some see networking as a necessary evil. Having worked with newcomer professionals from all over the world, I don’t doubt they would agree – wholeheartedly. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Shifting perspective, having empathy, and being courageous goes a long way. In Daniel Pink’s 2016 convocation address to the graduates at Georgetown University, he asks them to do a simple test, drawing the letter, Capital E, on their foreheads. Not meant to be overly scientific but a quick snapshot on perspective-taking and how we see and communicate with others, take the test here.
In my networking workshops, I use two examples of how empathy can help shift perspectives for newcomer professionals. As learners living and working (hopefully) in a new cultural environment, they see themselves in a new light as they are constantly tested and face seemingly insurmountable barriers of communication.
In my first example, I set the scene by asking our learners to imagine themselves at a reception at an industry conference. Someone new approaches them and they stumble through a self-introduction. I ask, “How do you feel when this person is trying so hard to take the first step in introducing themselves?”
With our second example, I ask them, “Now how do you feel when someone asks you for help? Depending on the context, most likely, you would be open to helping them, right?”
“Now how would you feel if the situations were reversed?” I.e. how do they think the person listening to them would feel if they stumbled through a self-intro and that they were being the ones asked for help. Why would it be any different than when they were the listener?
Stories about my overseas experience working in Africa and Asia also as a newcomer professional has given me invaluable insights in relating and sharing with newcomer professionals to our country and whose English is their second/third language.
While living and working on a somewhat remote island, Sulawesi in Indonesia, all I could do was smile when I arrived, not knowing how to say “good morning”. In my first month, our project team leader sent to Yogyakarta for intensive language training, one-on-one with university students as tutors in a professional language training school, eight hours a day, and living with a home stay family for three months. I knew how it felt to speak like a kid in kindergarten when what I needed to express were concepts a bit more complex to my Indonesian staff.
Our newcomers in Canada have the added pressure of trying to find a job mid-career and maybe changing careers while providing for their families in a new country. It is a major sacrifice they have made for their future generation and is not for the faint-hearted but for the whole- smart- and brave-hearted.
What newcomer professionals bring to the workforce is untapped global talent and we would be remiss if we do not listen, engage, and be open to someone who is different from ourselves. Living in a digital age, the barriers will and are falling away more rapidly but our mindsets must also adapt and be agile enough to realize the potential and power of different points of view.
As Stephen R, Covey, the bestselling author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” wrote, “Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy – the mental, the emotional, the psychological differences between people. And the key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.”
Perspective, empathy, and courage are essential for powerful networking not only for newcomer professionals but also for us to connect with others and also for us to help others connect. As newcomer professionals, network, introduce yourselves, and be of service to others are the first steps in building great relationships and being a part of a kinder, wiser, and more giving global community.
There is no algorithm nor app for success. In fact, Albert Einstein, would rather you “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” Of course, he meant “person”. Your work does not define your worth.
In her article in The New Yorker, May 29, 2017 in “The Work you Do, The Person You Are”, Toni Morrison wrote, ” You are not the work you do; you are the person you are.”
Now I’m no subject matter expert. My interests run wide but not deep. I have no letters behind my name although I graduated with a college diploma in Accounting. As the years fly by faster now and ageing is indeed a privilege, I’ve been called upon on occasion to speak in front of youth half but sometimes a third of my age. And I’m always stumped. What could I possibly share that’s relevant, somewhat lively, and entertaining. Accounting???
So last November 2016, the Toronto Public Library asked me to present a seminar on networking: “Network: Anytime, Anywhere with Anyone” a bit broader topic than say, Accounting, and it became the inspiration for my newly announced full day workshop: “Networking: Connecting to Create Possibilities” with registration now open!
For those who know me well, it’s no surprise networking is my superpower. However, we seldom see and recognize the things we do innately. Is networking a defined skill? Networking is about people, who you are, and being of service to others. It’s about connecting with people and in turn, connecting them to others to build and foster community.
As Thich Nhat Hanh, the notable 91 year old Vietnamese Buddhist monk and peace activist, wrote, “it takes only one word, one thought, one action to change the world.” Allow me the opportunity to present networking in a new light and bring you closer to your life goals.
This week @HBKidsHospital reception, I found #inspiration! I spotted a young girl in her wheelchair, swiping fast and furious on her smartphone.
So I sidled over, “Are there any #Pokemons here?” She grinned, “Nope!” I showed her my screenshots of the Pokemons caught at @hudsonsbay the day before and said, “Look, they got me another 20% off!” We introduced ourselves and laughed!
I was meeting the CEO and Ms M was checking into her Youth@Work, an incredible program for high school students, age 15 through 20, (she’s 16) with #disabilities the opportunity to learn practical work skills through #coaching and short term placements. #jobskillsforyouth
In thoughtful detail as an event planner for a charity, she described how she was planning a fundraising dinner for 20 for her placement. The menu was difficult for her so we did a bit of #brainstorming.
“How about food reflecting her colour theme – green and white?” Ms M lit up! “Marshmallows! S’mores with shortbread cookies! Ice cream sandwiches with dairy-free gelato – vanilla, pistachio AND donated by my gelato-producing clients! #DoingGood Chicken, mushroom and white wine sauce, kale almond salad, spinach” We were on a roll. #SomethingGood
She suddenly stopped, “Oh, I have to get permission.” I said, “Of course.”
Did she know the word for what just happened? “Advocacy?” she hinted. Impressive! “How does #brainstorming and #networking sound?” She nodded happily.
I jotted a few notes on my business card, handed it to her, and suggested she pass along to the Program. Will they call? Let’s see.
