A swim in the pool is no walk in the park especially when you’re absolutely terrified of water.
Fear has staked a claim in my mind the size of an Olympic swimming pool. Oddly I’ve snorkeled in Cuba and Bali, shot the noisy rapids in Stanley Mission, Northern Saskatchewan, punted leisurely along the River Thames in Oxford, sailed on a Hobie Cat off the coast of Zanzibar, water-skied in hippo-inhabited Lake Kariba, Zambia, and splashed about in a swimming pool in Sulawesi. Clearly there’s a huge disconnect – what I fear, how I think, and what I do -but fear is fear.
In “Five Hacks for Fearless Networking ©” I help our students overcome fears related to networking and reduce anxiety so that they can show up for industry conferences and events to meet new people. I can apply the same strategy to overcome my fear of water. I just have to show up in the pool and take swim lessons. I also re-read a few pages out of Susan Jeffers’ (was aka the Queen of Fear) classic “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”®. She classified fear as:
- Fear you can’t control
- Fear you can control
- Fear that lives in your mind
Mine is a life long fear I haven’t yet controlled as it has taken up long term residence in my mind. But I’m ready now for transformation and here are three lessons I’ve learned along the way:
Lifesaving Lesson No. 1 – Don’t go from zero to hero! Find cheerleaders.
Registration for Adult Swim Level 1 at our recently renovated community center pool was imminent and at a very reasonable cost. I could hear my Mom reminding me, “Remember, you get what you pay for.” I registered.
As I snapped my brilliant orange flotation belt snugly around my waist, I suspected that the real price I was about to pay was much higher as I slid into the pool and my life flashed before me. I clung vise-like to the edge of the pool, to the rope that separated the lanes, to my instructor’s arm, to anything and anyone within reach.
But when the water began to worm its way into my ears, my heartbeat rose rapidly from 60 to 600. Panic! I cannot see. My eyes are shut so tight that I cannot hear. I’m going deaf, too? Is this possible?
The water wound its way up my nose and into my goggles. Now my eyes are swimming but not me. I’ve stopped breathing. I sputtered. I choked. “I am a rock.” Simon & Garfunkel are in the pool, too? My heart sunk as does my body. I’ve failed. Again.
These damn goggles were so tight and any common sense I once had have now been squeezed out. Flipping my goggles up and down, up and down, and my fingers like windshield wipers, swiping i\intermittently in and out, in and out, all resolve has faded away. My classmates’ arms and legs turned into windmills whipping about and now the water has transformed into tsunamis. Time to declare a state of emergency. But they don’t.
Suddenly I heard The Marvelous Ms. M! “Jean! Bend your knees. Go on. Slightly bend your knees first. Then tilt your head back. Relax. Breathe. Feel the water around your ears, your face. Then let go.” Really? Is that all there is to it? I can do this.
And I did … if only for ONE long second. Discouraged, I wanted to quit but my cheerleader, The Marvelous Ms. M, wouldn’t let me and that is how I found myself one week later, muttering, “Make friends with the water.”
Lifesaving Lesson No. 2 – Have a positive mental attitude. Make friends with Fear.
Changing one’s mindset is no mean feat but my mantra “Make friends with the water” stuck with me as I walked to the pool last Friday. Smile. Positive mental attitude. Shake hands with the water. Tame the water dragon wreaking havoc within me. I told myself as I would tell my networking students: “Be like Yoda. Be fearless!”
I summoned all the courage I had. I set an intention. I prepared for a realistic outcome. Remember Lesson No. 1 – don’t be a hero. Just get used to the feel of the water. I don’t have to float on my back … not just yet. Let the water fall around my ears and on my face. It doesn’t feel too bad. Breathe out and not in especially while under water. Repeat my key words – relax, calm, gentle. Breathe. Believe.
Our young instructor handed out weighted colourful rings to be dropped to the bottom of the pool for us to retrieve. Do I have to keep my eyes open? The Marvelous Ms. M laughed. “You’re hilarious!”It was messy but I did it 3 times. It didn’t look pretty because the belt kept me bobbing while grabbing. And I still haven’t learned how to laugh under water yet.
Time to float on our backs. I could see my key words floating above my head. I still have the belt on. We flip over to float on our stomachs and I heard The Marvelous Ms. M say my name. I stood up and shouted, “I must still be alive because I heard you!” Everyone laughed. I relaxed.
Next up was the flutter kick. Grip the mini “surfboard”. Try not to leave indentations. Kick kick kick. I have squash legs. No problem. I yelled over to The Marvelous Ms. M. “I’m a duck!” What fun until I swallowed some water after I said “duck” and inhaled more water through my nose. What the … duck?
We move to the edge of the pool, shallow end, of course. Pushing off on our side with one arm extended, resting on our “surfboard”, we flutter kicked on our side. More bobbing with my belt and I started to roll as if I was in a kayak. Not pretty again but I’m not ready to part with my belt…not yet.
Our instructor wanted us to try swimming “free style”. He has already forgotten. Some of us still can’t float, flutter kick, nor glide. His voice is calm and soothing. Maybe he can hypnotize me as he shows us how to keep our faces in the water. I can do this. VERY important – don’t breathe in. Straight knees and kick kick kick. But what do I do with my arms? Pretend you’re Michael Phelps, he grinned. My ears must be clogged. “Michael Phelps? Where?” He added, “And did you know your arms don’t move at the same speed as your legs?” Really? No kidding. How do we know what we don’t know?
The final few minutes we learned the do’s and don’ts of wearing a life jacket. This I thankfully know. Before we parted, my classmates agreed to reward ourselves with a glass of wine next week… incentive and positive reinforcement, this I know, too.
But before our next swim lesson, I need to and want to practice. Maybe the glass of wine is the much-needed incentive.
Lifesaving Lesson #3: Practice Practice Practice – 20 hours vs 10,000 hours – good enough or mastery?
Malcolm Gladwell wrote in his book “Outliers – The Story of Success”, “10,000 hours is the magic number to become world-class in any field.” although he also said the rule doesn’t apply to sports. Whereas in Josh Kaufman’s book “The First 20 Hours … How to Learn Anything Fast”, the author focuses on rapid skill acquisition. Our swim lessons are once a week for an hour over 9 weeks so we have two additional hours for practice.
I made it to “Leisure Swim” yesterday and logged in 20 minutes of practice. I found motivation while getting tips from the young lifeguards on duty and so empathetic, kind, and professional … AND they kept an eye on me.
One old enough to be my grandson told me to make a star so I visualized a starfish. “Arc your back!” I faltered and floundered but I kept trying. I finally found myself floating on my back, a starfish gazing into the overhead lights. I saw stars.
Am I ready now to try without the belt? It’s not as easy as it looks but I floated … for TWO long seconds. “Fill your lungs with air, Jean.” Like a balloon? He nodded. But do I hold my breath? Is that how it works? “Inhale lots of air quickly and exhale slowly.” This makes sense.
My newly adopted grandson/lifeguard reassured me that he’ll be working next weekend. Sweet! An accountability partner! And although it was fleeting, I had a small taste of victory in those two seconds. What would ten seconds feel like? Feel the fear … and do it anyway.®